Reinstating Balance in Your Life – Part 1 Reconnecting with your inner self

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Deep Dive Discussion

No one needs convincing of the importance of balance. When things are in balance, they function smoothly and harmoniously, for example:

·       A balanced image is considered beautiful.

·       We acknowledge that a balanced meal is best for the functioning of the body.

·       Balanced sounds are said to have a calming and rejuvenating effect on the mind.

·       We seek balance between work and recuperation or entertainment.

When things go wrong, we immediately sense that something is not right and we use words such as “out of whack” or “out of kilter” to describe such situations. That being the case, it must mean that every sensing of inner or outer discomfort must indicate an imbalance, within us, or in our environment, which we then call personal or social crisis. And our immediate reaction is to try to fix or treat the problem which is the manifestation of the imbalance.

When a personal imbalance manifests in illness, we immediately look for a cure or treatment of the symptoms. When a social imbalance manifests in a crisis, we enact new laws or create social programs to try to alleviate the symptoms.

However, we know, from experience, that treating or tackling symptoms only offers a temporary suppression of the symptoms, and it is only a matter of time before the underlying imbalance manifests in the same or a different symptom. For example, the imbalance that underlies personal dietary and eating habits may first manifest in obesity, which we then actively try to cure or control. But the cure then compromises our organs. Stricter law enforcement programs that focus on sending an illegal drug offender to jail end up criminalizing a large swath of society, leading to its own set of crises. Social programs that adopt a more “compassionate” approach of dispensing free needles or synthetic drugs wind up increasing drug use and dependency.

From this it should be evident that the true cure for any crisis must lay in identifying and addressing the imbalance that is causing behavioral changes, and not it tackling the symptoms.

So, how does one do this?

Modern Psychotherapy is blazing a path towards being able to answer this question. But for now, it too is still stuck in addressing the emotional/psychic symptoms of imbalance. Nevertheless, this approach is on the right track because it ascribes all emotional, and some physical problems to a traumatic experience that the person has suffered in their life. Trauma being described as an imbalance in a person’s psychic or mental state.

The traumatic experience may lay deeply buried in the subconscious, and the person is not aware of it. Or the person may be aware, but wants to suppress it from their consciousness because they are unable to face it, come to terms with it, or to process it. Notwithstanding, the unconscious or suppressed traumatic experience invariably manifest in emotional problems. Thus, for example, a childhood experiencing of Physical Abuse can manifest later in life as aggressive/violent behavior, an inability to trust others, anxiety, nightmares, or poor self-esteem.

It is noteworthy that when working with people coping with trauma, Therapists do not usually talk about “curing” the trauma in a literal sense. Rather, their focus is to try to help a person restore balance in their psyche. But as mentioned earlier, the techniques adopted are not significantly different from the general approach of focusing on symptoms. The only difference is that the focus is on the emotional symptoms of the trauma by using such techniques as:

• Helping the person reframe from negative thoughts

• Teaching coping skills (e.g., relaxation, emotional regulation)

While this may be helpful, it still fails to address the fundamental question that all victims of trauma openly or silently grapple with; namely; “Why did this happen to me?”

We know from our own experience, whether it is pleasant or unpleasant, that we constantly and silently seek answers to this fundamental question. Of course, we seldom stress or “waste” time trying to answer this question when it comes to pleasant experiences. We simply see these as our “good fortune”, or, “the just reward for our own hard work”. But an honest person must admit that factors beyond our control have often contributed to our pleasant experiences. Perhaps, it is being at the right place at the right time. Or we just happen to know the right person who gave us the helping hand.

Also, because pleasant experiences cause us no pain, we accept them as deserved. We are in harmony with them as we enjoy our good fortune and the accompanying sense of balance within.

When our experience is unpleasant, our inability to answer that fundamental question makes life appear unfair or unjust. Our situation becomes unacceptable and unbearable. Deep within we nurse the desire to know the answer to this fundamental question, in the hope that we may “plead our case” or gain some understanding that might lead to acceptance.

There is another school of thought among Psychotherapist on how to help people suffering from trauma, by employing a technique described as connecting the client with their “child” part. The aim here is to use gradual exposure of the client, “in a “safe way”, to traumatic memories. This approach tries to reach the inner child part (the subconscious) which is believed to harbor memories of what laid the foundation for the events that led to the traumatic experience.

Although modern Psychotherapists have coined new terms like the inner child, trauma, etc., for their work, the aim of this other school of thought is no different from the philosophy of the ancients who believed that all experiencing has its roots in actions that have arisen from within us. The ancients also believed that the memory of the root cause lays buried in our psyche, soul, or Spirit, which are what therapists today call the “child part”.

The ancients too tried to reach or awaken the buried memories in the psyche. They tried to achieve this through hypnosis, and as such pioneered the practice of hypnosis, which some modern therapist are adopting to reach “the inner child”. But, as it is today, and as was then, it may be disheartening for many to learn that although Hypnotherapy may offer temporary relief from severe pain and suffering, it causes a greater spiritual harm, whose effects are extraordinarily long lasting. Where it appears to have worked, a significant change in the personality of the patient is often observed. They appear more subdued and acquiescent, with reduced energy in the expression of their own will.

Those who understand the processes behind hypnosis explain that this observed phenomenon is because during hypnosis the practitioner unknowingly exposes the client to unseen forces that can constrain the Spirit’s ability for full self-expression. This constraining, whether realized, unintended, or intended, endangers and hampers the Spirit’s self-expression and growth.

Unfortunately, the person responsible for this incurs a heavy debt, in that they too will have to experience trauma similar to that which their client will suffer through their action. Meanwhile, the exposed Spirit, even though constrained, may continue to incur more spiritual debt through their activities. And, their hypnotist, who is partially responsible for weakening the Spirit’s resolve, will have to partake of these consequences too. We are told also that ignorance in these matters does not protect or absolve one of responsibility and the arising consequences.

With this important insight, the question should perhaps be modified to: “How does one access the inner child part (psyche, soul, Spirit) safely?”, if we are to find answers to that fundamental question: “Why did this happen to me?”

The answer to this lies in the advice and practice that has been advocated since the beginning of time. It is through deep inner self-reflection, prayer, or meditation. But, the person must first accept the premise that there is no injustice or unfairness in life. Without this as the starting point, it is impossible to extract from the subconscious the role that one may have played in their own present circumstance.

Since no one can change anyone but themselves, it follows that the cause and solution for our situation must lie within us, and within our abilities.

However, the associated preconditions to this advice is very difficult for many to accept. Many will reject it out right. Modern experts will describe it as “blaming the victim”. But, if we are willing to apply sober impartiality to examine crises whose origins are evident, why should we not apply the same standard to crises where origins are not so evident?

Let us take the example of our hypnotist, assuming it’s a male, and imagine a possible consequence of his ignorant action. Then let us see how the application of this advice could help him recognize his folly.

It is likely, according to the Spiritual law of karma, that in the future he too will experience the challenges of a bound spirit, which he have unknowingly forced upon his client. The symptoms of his new condition may manifest as one or a combination of emotional imbalances.

Should the former hypnotist, and his new therapist, focus only on the symptoms of the former’s new situation, or exclude thought of any personal responsibility while probing of the former hypnotist’s psyche, it will never occur to either of them that the present experiences of the former hypnotist could be the result of an inner disposition, which was at work when the erstwhile hypnotherapist put his former client through the process of hypnosis.

But those familiar with the psychic laws that govern such matters will quickly appreciate that through his current experiencing, the former hypnotist is being given the opportunity to learn. And through his personal experience he may learn to see the impact and consequences of imposition of will by one person on another. But such recognition can only come through one who can help our former hypnotist to understand the true Spiritual processes at work in hypnotism i.e., imposition of one’s will on another.

With this recognition, the door may then open for the former hypnotist to quietly reflect on his own inner attitude or disposition towards imposition of his will upon others. Through deeper introspection he may gradually come to admit that he too harbors this desire or tendency. He may also come to realize, from his own condition and experience, that because a person is presenting as a victim does not mean that they too are not inwardly disposed to impose their will on others. And therein lies the real imbalance in the psyche, soul, Spirit, or inner child part, and not in the way they present as a victim. This may then become the first step towards restoring the imbalance of wanting to impose his will on another, regardless of whether it was done in good faith or not.

An important word of caution must be added to the scenario presented here. It is not meant to be used to judge anyone’s situation! As Psychologists will confirm, different imbalances manifest similar and overlapping symptoms. So one would be wrong to attempt self-diagnosis or to judge people, because they could easily draw the wrong conclusions, causing themselves or another more Suffering.

Therefore, the real message in this example, and indeed of this article is that clients and their health professionals need to be aware, to always look beyond the external symptoms when trying to answer the fundamental question of “Why did this happen to me?” If they do not have the knowledge, they should look to those who can guide them towards answering this fundamental question.

The one who has intimate knowledge in these matters will always advocate the practice of honest and sincere prayer, meditation or reflection without focusing on the symptoms alone or making any assumptions about the causes. The knowing one may also explain how through such efforts one becomes more connected and open to external and unseen help that can lead them, usually unconsciously, to a sensing of the real nature of their problems, and the imbalance within that brought about the situation in which they find themselves.

This, plus any coping mechanisms that are prescribed by health professionals could eventually help the person to gradually reconnect with their inner self.

Many who have experienced the result of sincere prayer or deep meditation know the type of connection that is referred to here, even if they cannot explain it in “rational” terms to themselves or others.