A Child - A Gift of Love

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Summary

This text explores the common misunderstanding of a child as a "gift of the expression of love," arguing that the true gift lies not in the sexual act but in the opportunity for spiritual growth that parenting provides. The author establishes that all life experiences are results of conscious or unconscious choices guided by spiritual principles, serving to aid the development of one's spiritual essence. The article reframes parenting responsibilities—such as providing basic needs, emotional support, and moral guidance—as avenues for caregivers to practice true, selfless love and self-ennoblement. By focusing on these spiritual lessons, parents can help raise emotionally stable and ethical adults, which the text suggests is crucial for countering declining societal standards. The discussion also touches upon issues like adoption and surrogacy, questioning if the desire to receive a child often outweighs the intention to give love unconditionally.

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Many will readily argue that a child is “a gift of the expression Love”. But it is also true that many see a child as an unwanted gift of the expression of love. Needless to say, this discrepancy of perception is at the heart of the pro-life versus pro-choice crisis, and other child related issues.

But, what if both sides in this debate have the wrong understanding of the concept of “a child as a gift of the expression of love”?

This is what we will attempt to explain in this article.

“Expression of love” is society’s polite euphemism for the natural urge for sexual intercourse between adults. But, let us be honest, it is seldom the intent of either, or both participants in the sexual act (between opposite sex), for a child. Therefore, it is understood if the resulting unwanted pregnancy is not seen as gift.

Nevertheless, even where the intent is for a child, the notion of a child, as a gift of the expression of love, is also misunderstood.

To explain, from a spiritual perspective.

First, a brief overview of the spiritual principles involved.

1.     Anything that comes our way is the result of our action, whether we are aware or not. Therefore, our words, thought or deeds are expressions of our freedom to choose.

2.     The choice is from the options offered in response to a request.

3.     However, the exercise of such choice always has a corresponding result, associated with the desire that led to the request, followed by the choice made.

This mechanism demonstrates how we are all masters of our fate or destiny. And the experiences in our lives are not arbitrary, as may appear at first glance.

Also, this mechanism serves only one purpose; namely to aid the development of our Spiritual essence, that is, the core of the human being. And, this development occurs through experiencing the effect of the choices that we make. Through such conscious experiencing we become more discerning of our desires. With greater discernment we avoid disruptive desires that lead us down the path of making choices that inevitably produce disruption in our lives and environment.

In effect, Love lies behind every experience that we have to undergo in Life. Love in the sense of aids for our development.

But we can only learn the necessary lessons when we are aware of the spiritual principles/mechanism that govern human existence. For it is only through extracting the necessary spiritual knowledge from our experiences that we become mature and conscious enough to see the opportunity for spiritual growth, contained in these lessons.

Now to get back to the topic.

Let us now try, based on the foregoing, to understand the concept from a spiritual perspective of “child as a gift”.

First of all, let’s identify the spiritual learning experiences that a child brings to those who create the opportunity, by their choice, regardless of whether they intended it or not. The underlisted responsibilities of parenting, gives evidence of the ample opportunities for spiritual learning and growth for any parent or care giver.

·       Provide Basic Needs & Safety: -  food, shelter, and creating a physically safe home free from harm.

·       Offer Emotional Support & Love: - being a nurturing presence, and helping the child learn to regulate their emotional life, to recognize and develop a healthy self-confidence based on their own innate talents.

·       Guide Moral & Behavioral Development: - teach values, provide discipline, and act as a positive role model to reaffirm by example to the child right from wrong towards developing their  character.

·       Ensure Education & Learning:  - foster the desire to learn (i.e., curiosity), support their education ( academic, as well as ethical/spiritual), and teach or help them acquire life skills to prepare child for future independence.

·       Be a Role Model & Advocate: - demonstrate positive behaviors, and guide the child’s social interactions to help them become a positively contributing member of society and the world at large. 

Although it is generally believed that the child is the primary beneficiary of these activities, they nevertheless demand a high degree of selflessness on the part of the parent or caregiver. And, this is where the true expression of love lies, for both child and caregiver. Therefore, the gift that the child offers to the parent or caregiver is the opportunity to develop and practice the expression of Love.

Thus, the expression of love is not the sexual act that resulted in the pregnancy, but the opportunity to express true spiritual love for another, in this instance the child.

If we take a closer look at what is involved in carrying out the above listed responsibilities, the care giver has to develop the ennobling qualities that they wish to impart to the child. So, they too learn, benefit and grow spiritually. Thereby confirming another spiritual principle that “only in giving does one receive”. In this instance, in trying to help a child’s ennobled development, the caregiver, also helps their own ennoblement of self and character. Confirming yet another spiritual principle - “what you sow is what you reap”.

Seen from this perspective, any child becomes a gift that offers an opportunity for one’s expression of love. And, the child does not have to be one’s birth child, or initially intended.

It is also important to appreciate that in focusing attention on only the child’s material/intellectual development, without regard, or awareness of the need for self-ennoblement, the care giver misses out on the most valuable gift that a child brings. Furthermore, if the care giver is not aware, or is uninterested in self-ennoblement, it is understandable that this will not be given focus in their upbringing of the child. And this will become evident in the quality of the adult that they raise. It is therefore fair to say that this ignorance, on the part or many parents or caregivers, is arguably the reason for the lower moral and ethical standards of today.

There are also the growing and wide spread emotional problems in most societies, which one can reasonably tie to parental and caregiver failure in raising emotionally stable children.

The common and growing phenomena of adoption and surrogacy also need to be viewed against this spiritual framework. Although a strong and sympathetic case can be made for surrogacy, one can honestly ask whether the motive behind it is not being driven by the desire to Receive rather than to Give? No doubt, the emotional challenges of a couple unable to conceive and give birth to a child of their own is overwhelming. But, therein may lie the flaw in thinking. If a person’s true desire is to help raise another human spirit, does that spirit's body have to include one's DNA, for it to be loved and cared for? Doesn't the recognized or unrecognized desire to pass on one's DNA indicate a promotion of self? In other words, the desire to offer love is being made contingent on first getting a child of their own (receiving), before they are ready to give love.

Of course, the situation becomes even more unsavory when the taking on of a child involves a financial arrangement.

Final word:

Hopefully this brief expose will help the objective person see, in a different light, the heart rendering issues that many contend with. Especially since recognition of the spiritual principles involved may lead one to a different decision, when confronted with the strong emotional urges that accompany such decisions.

A discussion of the spiritual principles surrounding the acts that give rise to the procreation of a child deserves a piece by itself, because there is also gross misunderstanding of this natural urge. Yet, as with every human activity, this too holds spiritual growth opportunity when properly applied, and grave consequences when not understood and misused. The consequences of this ignorance are quite evident in the sexual and social crisis in many societies today.